Maybe: Unknown
Cast of Characters:
Grayson
Erica
Mike
The play takes place on Halloween. It is a suburban home in a gated community. The play will take place in the living room. A couch can be represented by two chairs and an acting block can be a coffee table. There can be a third chair that can be a love seat. Whatever is available. The exit on the UPRIGHT will be to kitchen and upstairs, while exit DOWNRIGHT will be front door unless using actual front door of theatre makes more sense in which use that instead. ADRIAN and ERICA are in the living room. GRAYSON is shuffling through DVDs in front of the “TV”. Lights up.
GRAYSON
So, I’ve got Scream, The Conjuring, and Nightmare on Elm street.
ERICA
Why don’t any of these have covers?
GRAYSON
Because I bought them from a guy who copied them for me.
ERICA
So they’re bootlegs.
GRAYSON
Yeah, movies are expensive.
ERICA
But you can buy these used for like three dollars on Amazon.
GRAYSON
(Smug)
Well, I bought them new for a dollar.
ERICA
What’s this one?
GRAYSON
It’s the new IT.
ERICA
But it’s still in theaters.
GRAYSON
It’s some guy recording it with a camera. A little shaky, but the picture is perfect. Wanna watch this?
ERICA
No, clowns freak me out.
GRAYSON
Oh, come on. It’s just a movie.
(Moves to couch to ERICA)
And.. if you get scared.
(Moves in)
ERICA
(Pushing away)
I said clowns scare me. And I’m just a bit freaked out at the moment.
GRAYSON
I told you, those calls were pranks. People are just messing with you on Halloween. Kids probably.
ERICA
Yeah, but they knew I was alone —
GRAYSON
And then you called me and now I’m here. So there’s nothing to worry about, right?
ERICA
It’s just —
GRAYSON
Erica.
ERICA
You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m just tense and I don’t mean to take it out on you.
GRAYSON
It’s okay.
ERICA
Thank you for coming over.
GRAYSON
You called, and I’ll be your hero when you need me.
(Attempts an intimate moment)
Now where is this pizza, should’ve been here by now.
ERICA
It’s only been like thirty minutes.
GRAYSON
Exactly. Pizzas should take thirty minutes or less, that’s what they always say.
ERICA
I’m not sure that’s Papa John’s motto.
GRAYSON
Sure it is. It’s every pizza place’s motto. Papa John’s, Pizza Hut, Domino’s. They all agree to a pizza code or something.
ERICA
I don’t think —
(There’s a knock at the door)
GRAYSON
See? Here it is.
(GRAYSON goes to the door and answers it, we hear a groan of a man who is hurt, MIKE enters limping, there can be improvised yelling with the actual written dialogue)
DUDE! You can’t come in here!
ERICA
Get away! What do you want?
MIKE
(Frantically)
I need—
GRAYSON
We don’t have any money, well she does, but I don’t.
ERICA
You can have whatever you want, just please go.
MIKE
Give me your phone!
ERICA
Here.
(Hands him her phone)
It’s the new iPhone 8. Just take it.
GRAYSON
Yeah, it’s got that new portrait mode, it takes the best pictures.
ERICA
He doesn’t care about that! Why are you telling him that!
GRAYSON
Maybe he cares, I don’t know!
MIKE
HE is right here. And HE can hear you.
(Beat)
Give me your passcode.
GRAYSON
8891
ERICA
How do you know that?
GRAYSON
It’s your birthday. Everyone’s passcode is their birthday.
MIKE
(He makes a call, goes to voicemail.)
Dammit.
(Beat)
Do you have an ice pack or an ankle wrap?
ERICA
In the bathroom.
(He storms out)
ERICA
(Beat)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Call the police.
GRAYSON
We can’t.
ERICA
What do you mean “we can’t.”
GRAYSON
If he finds out we called the police, he’ll hold us hostage and maybe kill us. Maybe if we just give him a bunch of your stuff, he’ll go away.
ERICA
How does that make any sense?
GRAYSON
I don’t know, I’m just spitballing here.
ERICA
But what if his goal is to kill us.
GRAYSON
I didn’t think that far.
(MIKE has returned)
MIKE
Hey.
GRAYSON
We didn’t call the police!
MIKE
What? Police?
(Realizing)
Oh, oh my god.
ERICA
What do you want?
MIKE
I can explain.
ERICA
We don’t want an explanation, just go!
MIKE
I can’t.
ERICA
Why not? I don't have any money or anything.
MIKE
I sprained my ankle, that’s why.
GRAYSON
You what?
MIKE
(He goes to the couch to sit)
I was going to a halloween party in this neighborhood and I got lost. Every street looks the same and when I got out of the car I stepped on the curb and sprained my ankle. I’m not trying to rob you or scare you, I’m just a guy headed to a Halloween party.
GRAYSON
Where’s your costume?
MIKE
My what?
GRAYSON
Your costume. You said you were going to a halloween party.
MIKE
It’s not obvious?
ERICA
No…
MIKE
Really?
(To GRAYSON)
You don’t know?
GRAYSON
Just tell us before I call the police.
MIKE
I’m Mark Zuckerberg!
GRAYSON
Who?
MIKE
Mark Zuckerberg? Creator of Facebook.
ERICA
Like that movie?
MIKE
The Social Network? Yes.
GRAYSON
But I thought Jesse Eisenberg created Facebook.
ERICA
No, Jessie Eisenberg played the guy who created Facebook.
MIKE
(To ERICA)
Is this guy serious?
GRAYSON
So this is Mark Zuckerberg?
MIKE
I guess he is serious.
(Beat)
I’m Mike.
ERICA
I don’t care what your name is, you have to go.
GRAYSON
Erica, this guy is hurt.
ERICA
We don’t know him, he could be crazy or something!
MIKE
Hey…
GRAYSON
Erica, calm down.
ERICA
Don’t tell me to calm down! I have people calling me in the middle of the night and now strangers barging into my house!
GRAYSON
(Grabs her by the arm)
Hey, you need to —
ERICA
Don’t touch me!
(She storms off)
When I come back, he better be gone!
GRAYSON
(To MIKE)
Women, right?
MIKE
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
GRAYSON
Oh, I didn’t mean —
MIKE
Your girl seems really upset, man.
GRAYSON
She’s not my girl, not yet anyway.
MIKE
She said that people are calling her in the middle of the night?
GRAYSON
Yeah, she’s been getting some pretty weird phone calls tonight.
MIKE
What do you mean?
GRAYSON
Someone will call and say creepy things like “I know you’re alone in the house” and stuff like that.
MIKE
(Noticing GRAYSON’s cheery mood)
And you don't find that weird? I mean, if my girlfriend got calls in the middle of the night, I would call the police or something. Why haven’t —
GRAYSON
They’re fake.
MIKE
What’s fake?
GRAYSON
The calls, they’re fake.
(MIKE is dumbfounded)
It’s my friends who are calling.
MIKE
You have some pretty fucked up friends.
GRAYSON
I told them to.They call with private numbers so she doesn’t know how to call back.
(Beat)
What do girls want more than anything else?
MIKE
A guy that doesn’t torture them with creepy phone calls.
GRAYSON
What? No, they want a hero. Some guy that will make the stalkers go away.
MIKE
That’s ridiculous.
GRAYSON
You don’t understand. She will keep getting these calls and I swoop in to scare her stalkers away. She’ll think that she needs me to protect her and she’ll realize that she needs me here all the time and that the only thing that she needs to keep her safe is me.
MIKE
Dude…
GRAYSON
But you’re not going to say anything right? I mean, guy code and all.
MIKE
I’m literally telling her the second she comes back down.
GRAYSON
Maybe I tell her you threatened me. And we call the police and say a strange man claiming to be the creator of Facebook broke into her house and tried to kill us.
MIKE
You wouldn’t.
GRAYSON
I would, and I will. So, guy code.
MIKE
(Reluctantly)
Guy code.
GRAYSON
Hey, I’m glad were on the same page.
(Seeing ERICA come back)
Now put on a smile and try not to look like a killer, okay? For me.
(ERICA enters, wearing hoodie or jacket)
Hey, how are you?
(Goes to hug, as he hugs he stares at MIKE)
ERICA
(To MIKE)
Why is he still here?
GRAYSON
Mike’s a good guy. We talked about what it’s like working at Facebook and stuff.
MIKE
I don’t work at —
GRAYSON
What was that?
MIKE
Oh yeah, Facebook is great.
ERICA
(Letting guard down)
Except for all those Candy Crush invites.
MIKE
Yeah, sure.
GRAYSON
So now that we’re all friends, Emily, why don’t you and sit and talk to Dave while I go outside for a second.
ERICA
Wait, why are you going outside?
GRAYSON
I need to make a phone call. I’m calling the pizza place. Pizza should have been here by now.
ERICA
But—
GRAYSON
Hey, I’m here. I’ll be right outside. Talk to Mike about Facebook and only Facebook, right Mike?
MIKE
Yep, I love Facebook. So happy I invented it.
GRAYSON
Great.
(On phone)
Hello? Yes, I ordered a large pepperoni…
(He walks out, the next scene should be anxious and tense.)
ERICA
Can I have my phone back?
(MIKE hands her phone)
Thank you.
(She sits on couch or adjacent love seat)
MIKE
(Pause)
Scary movies huh?
ERICA
What?
MIKE
The DVDs. They’re scary movies right? They don’t have covers but that one says “Scream”, and that one says “The Conjuring.” Are they bootlegs or something?
ERICA
They’re not mine.
MIKE
Hey, I don’t care. I stream movies online all the time. What’s this one?
ERICA
It.
MIKE
Oh, I love Tim Curry.
ERICA
I have a gun.
MIKE
You have a what?
ERICA
(Lying)
A gun. It’s in my pocket and it’s a gun and it has bullets and if you don’t leave I’ll… I’ll shoot you.
MIKE
(Not believing her)
Oh really? What type of gun?
ERICA
A glock.
MIKE
(Laughing)
A glock? Where did you hear that? CSI?
ERICA
I heard it on The Wire and I’m serious! I’ll shoot. I know you’ve been calling me today.
MIKE
Let me see the gun.
(She pulls hand out of her pocket revealing no gun)
Nice glock.
ERICA
(Embarrassed)
I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that.
MIKE
It’s okay, I get it. Strange man barges into your house in a Mark Zuckerberg costume and you think he’s a deranged killer.
ERICA
I’m just so… anxious. Or paranoid, or both. I don’t know. I was always the kid that thought monsters lived under the bed. I thought that it would go away when I got older, but the monsters just got more real and you barging in just brought that feeling back.
(She laughs)
I don’t know why I’m telling you this.
MIKE
It’s okay, I invented Facebook. You can tell me anything.
(They laugh)
ERICA
Who did you call earlier?
MIKE
My girlfriend. She was at the party already.
ERICA
Hopefully she will call back soon.
MIKE
I hope so. This night has been exhausting.
(Beat)
You know, my girlfriend and I used to exactly what you guys were doing. We would watch scary movies on Halloween and we both hate scary movies. We would watch Chainsaw Massacre or Friday the 13th and we wouldn’t get any sleep because we kept scaring ourselves.
ERICA
Why did you watch them?
MIKE
It’s not often you cared be scared with no real world repercussions. Movies do that. I often find that the movies kept my mind off the real monsters around us. Whether under the bed or not.
ERICA
(A moment)
I’m sorry.
MIKE
For what?
ERICA
For thinking you were crazy.
MIKE
Well, I did walk into your house uninvited. So my bad, too.
(A brief breath)
ERICA
(Looks at phone)
Oh my god. They’re calling again.
MIKE
Don’t answer it. Just don’t—
ERICA
(Answering)
If you don't stop calling! I’ll call the police!
(Listening and then hanging up)
Oh my god. He can see the house.
MIKE
Wait, don't believe —
ERICA
He said that he was looking at us. And that you can’t protect me.
(ADRIAN comes in)
GRAYSON
Emily, what’s going on?
ERICA
He called, he just called.
GRAYSON
What did he say?
ERICA
He’s looking at the house.
GRAYSON
Why don’t you go upstairs and we’ll lock the door and stay in tonight.
(Looking at MIKE)
Maybe we should call you a cab and get you going.
MIKE
Why don’t you call back?
GRAYSON
You can’t call back, it’s a private number.
MIKE
You can always call back. Hand me your phone.
(She hands him phone)
GRAYSON
So, what are you doing?
MIKE
I’m hitting star 69.
GRAYSON
Sixty-nine? Hey, she’s really scared right now, this is no time for jokes.
ERICA
How do you know that?
MIKE
Everyone knows that.
(Beat)
It’s ringing.
ERICA
Adrian, why is your phone ringing.
GRAYSON
It’s my mom.
ERICA
Give me your phone!
(She grabs his phone and answers)
Hello?
MIKE
Hey.
(She hangs up)
ERICA
I don’t understand.
GRAYSON
I know it sounds ridiculous, but I can explain.
(Beat)
I’m tired of just being your friend. I wanted you to need me.
ERICA
I don’t know why you would do this. You know how easily I get scared and you just took advantage of that.
GRAYSON
I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to be your hero.
ERICA
I don’t need a hero, I need a friend.
MIKE
(To ADRIAN)
I think you should go.
GRAYSON
Don’t tell me what to do.
ERICA
Please go.
(ADRIAN, beat then goes, she sits on couch)
MIKE
I’m sorry you had to deal with that jerk.
ERICA
I think I met the monster under the bed.
MIKE
You handled it better than I would have.
ERICA
I wish I had that gun.
MIKE
On second thought, maybe you wouldn’t have.
(Beat)
I should go.
ERICA
No, stay. I’ll wait until your girlfriend comes to pick you up.
MIKE
Are you sure?
ERICA
Yeah, I’m sure. I really don’t want to be alone right now.
(Looking at the movies)
What movie should we watch while we wait? No, No. How about this one?
MIKE
(Reading)
“When A Stranger Calls.”
(Beat)
I think it’s the perfect choice.
ERICA
Me too.
LIGHTS OUT
