8 or 24
CAST OF CHARACTERS:
ALEX
TAYLOR
TICKET BOOTH MAN
The action of the play will take place in front of a ticket booth. The booth will be in center, but pushed back as much of the action takes place in front of the booth. Off center there will be two chairs that can be used throughout the scene but must be there for the end of the play. THE TICKET BOOTH MAN stands behind his booth waiting for clients as ALEX and TAYLOR walk in. Both are wearing Kobe Bryant jerseys. ALEX is wearing the 8 jersey and TAYLOR is wearing the 24 jersey. The jerseys should be replicas, non-authentic. In fact, it may look as if they made their jerseys with yellow shirts and purple tape. ALEX is beaming as they walk in, while TAYLOR is a bit more hesitant.
They enter.
ALEX
This is it! Kobe’s last game at the United Center!
TAYLOR
I’m glad you called. I would have just watched this game on TV.
ALEX
Absolutely! This is going to be just like when we we’re kids watching Kobe. Anyway, we needed to do something before you move to Dallas. Consider this our last hurrah in Chicago.
TAYLOR
I’ll come back and visit.
ALEX
(Unsure)
Yeah, of course you will.
(They are in front of the stand and look at it)
TAYLOR
Are you sure we shouldn’t have just bought tickets on Stubhub?
ALEX
Taylor, do we have to go over this again?
TAYLOR
No, it’s just —
ALEX
You asked me on the red line down, the blue line over, and the blue line back because we missed our stop and the answer is still the same.
TAYLOR
It’s just that I always buy my tickets on Stubhub and Ticketmaster and it’s reliable and you get your tickets right away.
ALEX
And I told you that when you buy from those sites, you’re paying way too much. They add convenience fees and online charges and all those other bullshit ways to get your money.
TAYLOR
So you say.
(ALEX notices TAYLOR’s anxiousness)
ALEX
Why the face?
TAYLOR
I don’t mean to complain, but…
(In a hushed tone so that THE TICKET SELLER doesn’t hear)
How do you know you can trust him? How do you know he’s giving you a fair price?
ALEX
Taylor, I’ve done this hundreds of times. I’ve done this for the Cubs, the Blackhawks, The Bulls, The Fire —
TAYLOR
You went to a Chicago Fire game?
ALEX
Well, I didn’t think it was soccer. A guy came up to me and asked me if I wanted to see the Fire and I thought he was talking about an actual fire.
TAYLOR
Why would you pay to go see an actual fire?
ALEX
It was only a couple of bucks, and the fans got out of control and set fire to the stands so I actually did see a fire.
TAYLOR
The fans started a fire?!
ALEX
Yeah, it was better than the game.
(Beat)
The point is that I trust scalpers and they give you a fair price. No convenience fees or any online nonsense.
TAYLOR
Okay fine.
(Looks at the booth)
But I have to be honest with you, Alex. This doesn’t look like a traditional scalper. I mean, he’s standing in a booth, like an actual ticket booth.
(Beat)
Don’t scalpers usually hide in the bushes or stay out of sight instead of standing in a booth that says tickets?
ALEX
(Taking it in)
No, no, this guy is legit, that’s why he his own booth. Don’t you know they loosened the scalping laws in Illinois?
TAYLOR
(Unconvinced)
Uh-huh. So this is our guy?
ALEX
Just look at the man. Full of charisma and charm. He holds himself as a man mightier than most but not too mighty that he would be considered arrogant.
TAYLOR
You get all that from looking at him?
ALEX
No. I’ve bought tickets from him before. He’s a good guy.
TAYLOR
Oh.
ALEX
Wish me luck.
(ALEX approaches the booth as TAYLOR watches, ALEX tries to act as smooth as possible)
Hey.
TICKET MAN
Hello.
ALEX
Extra tickets for tonight’s game?
TICKET MAN
Yeah, they'll be pricey.
ALEX
Two please.
TICKET MAN
Eight hundred.
ALEX
(Losing composure)
Eight hundred for two tickets?!
TICKET MAN
No. Eight hundred each.
ALEX
(In shock)
But… but… come on man, I’ve bought from you before. Can’t you give me some kind of consistent customer discount?
TICKET MAN
Sorry, Kobe’s last game in Chicago. High Demand.
ALEX
How about four hundred?
TICKET MAN
No.
ALEX
Five?
TICKET MAN
No. My price is final
(ALEX returns to TAYLOR defeated)
TAYLOR
How did it go?
ALEX
Eight hundred.
TAYLOR
For two tickets? That’s absurd, I mean —
ALEX
Each.
TAYLOR
Wow.
ALEX
I don’t know what to do. I don’t have that kind of money.
TAYLOR
I know this great bar just a couple blocks away. We can just watch it there.
ALEX
I don’t want to watch it at a bar! I wanted to be in there. Seeing him live!
TAYLOR
I know, but you had to know that prices were going to be ridiculous. He’s one of the best players of all time.
ALEX
He’s THE best player of all time.
TAYLOR
(Offhandedly)
Well, I think Chicagoans would disagree.
ALEX
What?
TAYLOR
(Unconvincingly)
I mean, Kobe is the best player ever.
ALEX
I love Kobe, but eight hundred dollars is too much. I could see Hamilton for that kind of money.
TICKET MAN
Did you say Hamilton? I have Hamilton tickets, too.
ALEX
(Yelling back)
Nobody wants to see Hamilton!
TAYLOR
(To ALEX)
Actually, I kinda want to see Hamilton.
ALEX
(Beat, and then admitting)
Yeah me too.
TAYLOR
I love it, it’s so fresh and exciting and new.
ALEX
Stop, you’re distracting me from the problem at hand.
(Beat)
Why aren’t you more upset? I thought Kobe was your favorite player too. You told me you were excited for this game.
TAYLOR
Well, I was excited. Because you were excited. But I have a confession to make.
(Pause)
I don’t think Kobe’s my favorite player anymore.
ALEX
What?
TAYLOR
Yeah, I found other players to like.
ALEX
But… But… You used to love Kobe when we were kids, remember. We would take pieces of paper.
(Searching in his pocket he finds a receipt that he balls up)
And we would crumple them up and find any trashcan and…
(He shoots at an imaginary trashcan)
KOBE!
TICKET MAN
Hey! No littering!
ALEX
Hey shut up! We’re having a thing here!
(Beat)
If not Kobe, then who?
TAYLOR
Honestly… I think I’m a bigger Pau Gasol fan than a Kobe fan.
ALEX
What?! Pau Gasol?! Why Pau Gasol?!
TAYLOR
Well, he’s just a good guy and a team player. Plus, he’s from Spain and I look up to him as someone of Spanish descent.
ALEX
Wait, you’re family is from Spain?
TAYLOR
(Taken aback)
You’ve been over to my house to eat like ten times, how did you not know?
ALEX
I thought your family just liked tapas!
TAYLOR
We do, because we are from SPAIN.
ALEX
How was I supposed to know that? Tapas is a trendy thing right now!
TAYLOR
You came over to eat when we were kids! Tapas wasn’t trendy then.
ALEX
Dammit, I guess you’re right.
(Beat)
You know, I would tell people that your parents were ahead of the times. Doing tapas before anyone else.
TAYLOR
You’re an idiot.
(Beat)
Anyway, I just don’t like Kobe that much anymore.
ALEX
But, when we were kids. We both adored him. That’s why we became best friends! We both came to class with our Kobe jerseys and it was one of those moments where you know you’re going to get along.
TAYLOR
(TAYLOR goes and picks up the paper ball)
I know, but ever since, you know…
ALEX
Don’t bring up Colorado.
TAYLOR
Colorado.
ALEX
He wasn’t convicted of anything!
TAYLOR
(Waxing philosophical)
But it made me think if athletes were too big to fail. We were too young for OJ when we grew up in L.A., but that’s another example. Famous athletes get to do whatever they want and they seem to get away with it. If they're a good player, all is forgiven. I mean, look at us. You’re wearing the 8 jersey and I’m wearing the 24. Why the change? Was it a rebranding? Or was it a second chance? You and I would never get second chances like that. A chance to change our number and continue on with our lives. He even bought his wife this huge diamond ring after it, how ridiculous is that, like a diamond ring erases all faults. This stuff keeps me up at night. It shows us that celebrities and athletes are on this higher plateau that we will never reach or experience. It’s the new class system.
ALEX
(Frantic)
What the fuck are you talking about? I just wanted to see a game with my best friend featuring my favorite player and now I’m here, outside the stadium talking about Hamilton and numbers and class systems and tapas! Fucking tapas!
(ALEX steps away from TAYLOR and sits down, clearly defeated because of the events)
TAYLOR
I’m sorry we’re not able to see Kobe Bryant tonight.
ALEX
It’s not about that. You’re leaving town and I’ll be the only person left here in Chicago. I thought this game could bring back old memories. I was stupid in thinking that the tickets were going to be anything reasonable. When we grew up in L.A. we always had each other to rely on. We always took care of each other. Then we moved to Chicago and I thought we would both conquer the world together. Now you got this job in Dallas and I don’t know what to do. I even made these shirts for tonight, and they look like shit.
TAYLOR
I think the shirts are great.
ALEX
I just wanted to spend some time with you before you go. And to be honest, I wanted it to be some big grand thing so that you wouldn’t forget about me in Dallas. I’m sorry I yelled earlier. All my plans were falling apart before my eyes and I thought it was going to ruin the night.
TAYLOR
Nothing was going to ruin the night. No matter what happened tonight we were in this together. We’re a team. We’re teammates.
ALEX
(Laughs)
Like Kobe and Pau?
TAYLOR
Just like Kobe and Pau.
(Beat, sitting next to ALEX)
Like I said before. I will come back and visit. Don’t think about being here alone. Regardless of Kobe Bryant or Pau Gasol or any other Lakers player, we’ll still be friends, okay?
(Beat)
What do you want to do? Go to a bar or something to watch the game?
ALEX
No. I have it recording at home. I’ll just watch it later.
(They sit in silence for a bit, until TAYLOR springs up)
TAYLOR
I got an idea.
(TAYLOR goes and speaks with the TICKET MAN, we can not hear them, but some deal is being made. The lights dim and ALEX goes and sits on one of the chairs that was off to the side and waits for TAYLOR. After a moment TAYLOR joins ALEX)
TAYLOR
Well, these seats aren’t too bad.
ALEX
They’re not.
TAYLOR
I think this will be just fine.
ALEX
Hey. Thanks.
TAYLOR
Hey, what are friends for?
(The lights dim again and we hear an announcement)
ANNOUNCEMENT (V.O.)
Ladies and gentlemen, please silence you cell phones and enjoy tonight’s performance of Hamilton.
(We hear the familiar opening notes and blackout)
